Exercise

Finally convinced myself to start to the gym today and went this morning for a 30 - 45 minute workout, my first since the Gastric Bypass. Did some light nautilus and then 20 minutes on the exercise bike. I am expecting to be sore. I will keep everyone posted as to my progress. I have noticed that my back hurts constantly and I think that it is muscle deterioation. If my muscles have deterioated past the point of holding up my frame, then it seems logical to me that you could expect to have some pain. Anyways, I am going to try the exercise for a few weeks and see if I can have any improvement.

As a side note, my gout has not bothered me since the last really big attack in the spring.

Still have made my 6 month appointment with Dr. Clements at UAB but plan on doing that today.

Weight is at 200 lbs right now. Total loss around 70 - 75 lbs.

Back Pain

One more item for today, my back is hurting really bad. My lower back and between my shoulders is hurting all of the time. I keep thinking that it is going to go away but it isn't. It hurts when I sit for long times and is better when I stand. But, when I stand up I hurt then too between the shoulders. Totally different pain that when I was large and I hope that it will eventually improve.

Weight Loss has Stopped and Excess Skin

I am now in month 9 after my gastric bypass and my weight loss has completely stopped. I am right at 200lbs and haven't lost any weight since my last posting. I think that this is probably the weight that I will be at and don't think that I am going to lose anymore. I haven't went back to see Dr Clements at UAB, since my last posting. I need to schedule that appointment but just haven't gotten around to it.

Life has pretty much returned to normal. I can eat most of the things that I used still except milk and extremely sweet things. Like Candy Corn for some reason just sends me over the edge. My stomach feels the same and I can eat a normal amount of food with no problem. I don't have the gagging anymore, that has gone away.

I still take the vitamins. I did find Tony Hawk gummy bears in Wal Mart and I eat four of those a day. I have stopped taking the calcium. I know, I know, it is a mistake. I need to be taking that but jeez, it is hard to keep up with it all. I find myself wanting to eat all of the time but am just unable to eat the quantity. I snack all day long and am hungry all of the time. That is a mistake too but not sure how to break that cycle.

I would do the surgery again and am feeling more and more like it was the right thing.

Went last night to take a photo for an ID that I needed. It was very enlightening, I look completely different. Scary almost.

I have noticed a lot of excess skin and it is not pleasing to the eye! None in my stomach but bad around my groin and under my arms. I know that some people have it much worse than I do. Considered an operation to fix it but decided against that. I don't need more surgery and will just wear clothes that cover it.

Sleep apnea continues to be a problem and do not feel at this point that it is going to be improved. I took my Auto-pap card to the center and had it read. It records my nightly apneas and I have showed some improvement but no where near enough to get off of the machine. So, Ambien every night and sleeping with the mask. I hate that but it is just the way it is.

7 More Lbs and New Suits

Last post I mentioned that I was at 209 and stuck. Well, I weighed today and am at 202. I haven't been below 200 in over 20 years and it is almost surreal.

What else is new for me? Not much really on the gastric bypass front. Except to say that my suits are not fitting. Even the ones I bought after losing 50 lbs are not fitting. This sux. Now I have to go back and buy for the second time. I guess that is a good problem to have.

I need to go back for my 6 months visit with Dr. Clements but I haven't.

Weight is Constant, Taking Vitamins, Marital Problems

I had the surgery on 12/31 of this past year and I started at 270lbs, I now weigh 209 and I am stuck at that weight. I stopped losing about 6 weeks ago and just can't seem to lose anymore weight. Not sure why, but that is where I am. I am able to eat a fair amount of food but am hungry ALL the time. I eat dinner and an hour later, I am hungry. Not just normal, I want a snack eating. But, ravenous eat everything in the house type hunger. But, I can only eat a little bit, then hang out, and then go back for more.

Vitamins are another big thing. I was able to find some chewey gummy bear vitamins in Wal Mart that makes it easy to take the vitamins. So, problem resolved, I now take my multi's. But, still struggling with the calcium.

Craving milk in a big way and ice cream. Oh, if I could just eat a tub of ice cream and a gallon of milk!!! I think that it is the calcium deficiency making me crave milk. Not sure but that is also intense.

Wife and I are not seeing eye to eye at all. Just having lots of problems. She is jealous and says that she feels like she is married to someone new. That my personality is totally different and I am more laid back. I don't know, I am just me.

Still haven't gone back to see Dr. Clements at UAB. My brother did tell me that one of his friends died from a rupture in the stomach because he didn't go back for follow ups. I really am not ready to die, plus I have made it through the gastric bypass. I'd hate to die because of a lack of follow up.

Marital Problems

My wife has been cool with the gastric bypass and the weight loss. But, as of late, she keeps commenting about the weight loss. She is putting on some weight and I am losing. Further, she claims that my personality has changed and I just don't know what to do. Didn't know that this was going to strain the marriage but it has. Just don't know what to do.

Been on the road for about 3 weeks now working and it is getting rough. Eating out is tough and I have found that I drink alcohol more often. That is not good.

Vitamins

I have a confession, I have not been taking my vitamins. The thing is, my body no longer absorbs calcium, b12 and many others. I need to take a vitamin supplement every day, but I just don't. I know it is bad, but it is a pain in the behind. They have to be chewable vitamins and they are cow pills. Jeez, I guess I should get some blood work. Anyways, just thought I would fess it to you guys. I know of a family friend that had the surgery several years ago and never took her calcium. She now has a bone degenerative disease and lots of issues with bones. So, I guess I need to take them. In fact, I think I will go now and take them. Gastric bypass changes a lot of things and this is just one of those. You can't undo this, it is forever.

I also need to go back and see Dr. Clements at UAB. It has been a while.

Limitless Energy

I am just amazed at how much energy that I now have. I have been working in the yards all weekend and took my son fishing today. Not really even tired.

The jeans that I bought last month are getting too big. I continue to lose a substantial amount of weight and am now down around 210 lbs. Never thought that I would weigh below 200 again in my life. But, I think that this just might happen.

Things continue to go just fine. Other than the odd back pain from the last post, I am good.

I haven't had a problem with loose skin but my daughter did comment on the appearance last week. So, I didn't realize it but I guess that it is a problem. Well, there are bigger problems in life that people deal with. I will take flabby arms over diabetes any day.

I am really up on the gastric bypass and glad that I did it. It was the right decision. Still need to go see Dr. Clements at UAB.

Back Pain

I have noticed that by lower back hurts a good bit now. Not low back pain, but like at the very end of my tail bone. Lot of back pain in my medical history but I have never had pain in this particular spot. It is especially bad as I sit for a long time. I spoke with my barber and she had gastric bypass a few years back. She said that until the muscles adjust to the new weight distribution that I would have these strange pains. Not much concerned, it is more of a discomfort. But thought that it would be worth a mention.

I haven't gone to see Dr. Clements in a while and thinking of making an appointment. I need to check this blog to see the last time.

I continue to be gout free and the sleep apnea has improved in the past few days. Not sure about my weight right now but my clothes continue to get larger.

Dumping Syndrome and New Levi Jeans

Since I have had the gastric bypass, I have had a few issues but one in particular I would like to talk about on this post. You guys have probably heard about Dumping Syndrome. Let me clue you in on the details. It happens when you drink or eat too much sugar. I found out it is particularly bad for me when drinking coke or similar sugar soda. When it happens to me, I feel flush and my face feels really hot. My heart then starts racing and I usually get dizzy. You absolutely have to sit down. You feel sick to your stomach and panic'd at the same time. It is like an extreme panic attack with the nausea. It leaves you feeling weak and overcome with fatigue. It is no fun but you quickly learn how to avoid this just by not eating the offending foods.

I went and bought a couple of pairs of jeans last week. Size 38 and could have bought a 36. I continue to lose weight but at a slower rate.

Drinking

I have discovered that alcohol is just not going to be ok. Tried a glass of wine over the weekend and it does not agree with me. It feels like a bit of dumping happens and it just makes you feel really bad the next day. Hard liquor is out of the question. And, beer is out b/c of the carbonation.

Things are going ok. Sleep apnea is bothering me but it is no worse than it was before.

Visit to Doc and Chicago

Went to see Dr Clements at UAB on the problem with gagging, etc from my last post. He said that I could do a scope of the stomach or I could just take a wait and see. I told him that I would rather take a wait and see, hoping that it will go away. Dr Clements did mention that I was about 10 lbs behind on the weight loss and then read off the list of things that I should not be doing. I weigh 228 lbs and he mentioned that I should lose 50 more lbs. I don't see how that is possible, but he is the doc.

I then went off to a conference in Chicago for a week. It was a very long week and lots of hours. I held up ok but did have one bad night with no energy, etc. One story, I had dinner with a client at a really nice Italian spot in chicago. I had 2 pieces of bread and 1/2 bowl of Italian wedding soup. I ordered the lasagna and had 2 bites. It was the best I have ever had but could only eat 2 bites. I spent 45 minutes watching others eat and pushing food around on my plate. It was awkward, to say the least.

Sleep apnea continues to be a struggle.

People are really starting to notice the weight loss since the gastric bypass.

Lastly, I have noticed some traffic on the website and it looks like some people are actually starting to read the blog! Good news on that front. I hope that this can benefit someone.

Sleep Apnea and Sick

Since my gastric bypass, I have been sleep apnea clear. But, it has come back and then some. In addition, I have been really sick lately and feel like I have the flu. Gagging all the time. I am not feeling well. Going to see Dr Clements at UAB on Friday. After the way his nurse treated me last time, I am hesitant to go back.

Trip to California went fine, no major issues. Well, there is one. Diarrhea. Really, really bad. Not sure why, it just started and would not let up. Got back home and it continued. Took a dose of questran and some pepto and cleared it up. Hasn't bothered me since.

Curious to see how much weight I have lost. But, the sleep apnea issue is not good, not good at all. I am low, really really low.

This is an exceptionally difficult journey, don't let anyone tell you it is the easy way out. It is like taking the Kansas Turnpike, once your on that's it. You are there and not getting off. Doesn't make the trip any less easy but you just have no exits when you need a break.

More Energy and Out of Town

Spent the weekend building a deck in my back yard and just found that I have tons of energy. Picked up lots of heavy lumber and concrete, no back pain.

I am due to go to California next week and am anxious about the travel. I just do not know what to expect. I am working at our corporate offices, so it should not be too bad. We will see.

Still irritated by the way I was treated last week in Dr. Clements. The gastric bypass seems to be working and as the days pass I am increasingly glad that I did it. but, it does not seem real.

Got sick last night from eating dinner, not sure why.

Traffic to this Website

Well, I put a counter on my blog and found that no one is reading it.

Hmmm...

My intention in writing to this is to provide good information to others thinking of having gastric bypass. But, no one is reading and so it is making less sense to keep writing.

The Latest on the Visit Today

I kept looking at the numbers today and they just did not make sense. Everything that I was reading seemed to indicate that I was tracking normally. So, I called the office and got the battle axe on the phone Joann. I basically told her that I had issues with her raking me over the coals today and sending me into a panic over this gastric bypass weight loss rate. After everything that I have been through, the last thing that I want to hear is that it is not working.

Anyways, she fesses up and tells me that there has been a mistake and that she was going to call me. Well, it is the end of the day. Monday would have rolled around and she would have forgot. then, I would have started altering my eating habits and even further restricting my eating. This could have had a very strong adverse outcome for me.

Go back and look over my blog and see how many errors that I have talked about this office making. This is just not acceptable. Especially after she slammed me for 15 minutes in that office today.

A good example of what is wrong with our healthcare system today. By the way, all of these calculations were done on paper and not by a computer.

Disappointed with my Visit

I went to see Dr Clements at Kirklin Clinic - UAB on my gastric bypass today and got a Physician Assistant(Joann) instead. Frankly, she really irritated the crap out of me.



She started in with the exercise and I told her that I have been unable to exercise because of the gout. She stated emphatically, that I should be exerercising an hour a day for 7 days a week. (Is she on drugs?) Then, she started in on the water and not drinking enough. I told her that I had a hard time with keeping enough food and enough water down, then she wanted to know if I had gone to support group. Because, this was "covered" on the support group and I would know. That I should be drinking 64oz of water a day, etc, etc. Then, she wants a complete inventory of what I eat on a given day. I gave her that and was informed that I am eating too many carbs and I need to "completely" change my habits.



My initial weight was 268lbs and I know weigh 233lbs. I have lost 13.1% of my total weight and about 35% of my excess weight. She said that most patients have lost 25% at 8 weeks. I don't see how that is possible. I have seen studies that identify 38% of excess weight at one year. that is on track with the graph below and also on track with the "Swedish" study on this topic.

I am tracking exactly with the blue line and I was so totally put off by her inquisition that I was at a loss to ask questions.

As I am leaving, I see Dr Clements and he speaks. Why didn't I see him today and not this nazi PA? I drive over a 100 miles to see Dr Clements and my insurance will reimburse as if I saw him.

More importantly, I think that she was wrong. I think that she was thinking of the excess weight % and not total weight %. The nurse that ushered me in the room and weighed me has mis-calculated these figures before. I think that this was another example of that.

The numbers don't add up. Plus, if I make changes to my diet now and I am tracking normal, then I will go even further into starvation mode. I don't see them for another 3 months.

Honestly, I have been consistently disappointed by the guys since I started this. They have screwed up so many times. After everything that I have dealt with, the last thing that I want is some overpaid nurse raking me over the coals on what I am eating everyday.

I doubt that I will go back. This office, Kirklin Clinic, and UAB have all been consistent disappointments in the process. I wished that I had gone to St. Vincent's or to Baptist in Alabaster.

I would love to hear some feedback on this posting. Has anyone had similar encounters?

Appointment on Friday and the Latest

I have my rescheduled appointment with Dr. Clements at Kirklin Clinic on Friday. I am curious about my blood work and how that will turn out. I am also curious about the weight loss. People are really starting to notice that I am losing weight. I have a lot more energy and worked last night until late. I have not had this much energy in a long time.

I continue to struggle with meals and trying to get them down. I am an extremely fast eater and am having to readjust because of the gastric bypass. I throw up at least every other day but that is an improvement. I can eat almost anything now without a problem. Some things I have to just eat slower. Some days I can eat a lot and other days I can't. It just varies. I continue to take the multi but have stopped taking the calcium.

I have found a real treasure and that is Soy Milk. It requires an adjustment in taste but frees me up for one of life's true pleasures, the late night bowl of cereal. Of course, the term bowl is about a 1/4 cup and I used to eat a couple of cups. So, the snack is much smaller but is a treat and makes me feel like I am half way normal. The Soy has calcium and I buy orange juice with added calcium. So, it works for me.

False Alarm and Missed Appointment

I posted some time ago that I was worried that my gastric bypass would not work. I was wrong, I have dropped some more weight since that posting.

Nothing has really changed, just day to day work and adjusting to this new lifestyle.

For anyone that has not made the final decision, this is hard work. Don't let anyone tell you that this is an easy way to lost weight because it is not. Like today, I made a huge dinner for the family. I had not eaten all day and was starving. Anyways, I had just a few bites and that was it. My brain was telling me that I was hungry but my stomach was not able to hold more food.

I am having a problem keeping hydrated. If I eat, then I can't drink. Because of that, my gout is acting up.

I am sleeping a lot better and the sleep apnea is much less of a problem. I am feeling better that I have felt in a very long time.

I was supposed to have had my 8 week followup with Dr. Clements at Kirklin Clinic on Friday but missed it and have rescheduled for next Friday.

Worried About Weight Loss

I made a decision early on not to have a scale. I really didn't want to have the pressure of a daily weigh in to deal with. Well, I went over to a friends and weighed. I had not lost any weight. That bothers me. Since, I am eating a lot of junk food and am not following the rules. I think that I have topped out on weight loss. I weighed about 240 lbs and that is around 235, since I had shoes etc. I would hate to be in that small percentage where the gastric bypass just doesn't work. There are some and the way I snack all day, that might just be me. I am concerned about it.

Got my follow up exam with Dr. Clements at UAB sometime in the near future. I need to call his office and check.

Side Effects

I have been reading some postings today about gastric bypass and wanted to touch on that just a bit. There are side effects with this surgery. Gastric bypass restricts your ability to eat and it punishes you if you try to break the rules. There is consistent negative reinforcement each time you try to violate the simple rules the doctors give you.

If you eat too many sweets, you are going to be sick.

If you eat breads are starches, you are going to be sick.

If you drink sweetened carbonated sodas, you are going to be sick.

If you eat greasy foods, you are going to be sick.

etc, etc, etc...

There are basic rules and if they are violated, it will be bad. The kicker here is that it varies on how much you can break the rules. Sometimes you can get away with a little bit, but the next time you will pay a price for just a small violation. You have to retrain yourself and it is a painful process.

I am not here to fool you. The first 2 weeks after surgery is not good. First, you are dealing with the pychological issues of not having your best friend anymore(food). Second, you are dealing with the drastic change in your anatomy. Then, you are generally in pain and feel sick.

But, it gets better.

I don't know if I would do it again, it is too early. But, I do know that it is changing me for the better.

Slowly Back to Normal

Over the past few days, I have started to feel much closer to normal. I am able to eat many of the foods that I could before the gastric bypass. I still can't sit down and have a meal with the family but I am getting there. I am finding that I tend to eat all day, constantly. Small amounts but eating anyways.

I don't know how much I have lost. I purposefully do not have a scale, since I went into this to help with my other issues (sleep apnea, gout, etc) and not to lose weight. But, curiousity is getting the best of me and I might succumb to that today and go buy a scale.

This morning I had a fried egg, grits, fried bologna and that was a huge mistake. I knew going into it that it was a mistake but I was really hungry since I didn't eat much supper the night before. Anyways, throwing up and sick. Got up and then went back to bed with a sick stomach. Didn't start work until around 9am.

I continue to take my vitamins every day and that has become more or less a routine. I just leave them sitting on my desk and grab one during the date. They are chewable and rasberry flavored, so that makes it easier.

The weight is much lower but I really don't feel like it. I have had several people comment on the weight loss but I am not really feeling like I have lost much weight. My clothes are much bigger but I feel the same. I have noticed that the lower backaches have stopped and I think the sleep apnea is getting better. The gout continues to plague my left knee but I hope eventually that will get better.

Losing Weight and On the Road

I continue to lose weight at a very rapid pace but truthfully, I don't feel any different. My clothes are much larger and the scales say that I have lost around 30lbs but I don't feel like it. Also, I weigh around 235 lbs right now and started out at around 268. I am concerned that I am going to continue to lose weight and get below what I am trying to get too. It is coming off rapidly.

Today was really rough, I have felt extremely weak all day. It has been a strange day. I am thinking that my sleep apnea is starting up again. I have not been wearing the CPAP mask, so that could be it.

Meals continue to be a real challenge. I am able to eat most foods now but you have to eat really slow. If the texture of the food is wrong or you eat too fast, up it comes. It is a gut wrenching pain and it does not let up. I can't really describe it. Kinda like getting punched from the inside. You can also feel the food when it gets stuck. That hurts too. The bottom line is, eat slow. If you go out to eat, order soup. That is the easiest thing to eat. At least through the first 4 weeks.

I am coming to terms with the whole thing and feel better about the surgery. I had some challenges with that early on in the process. You need to prepare for those psychological issues, it will come. This is not reversible and that hits home in the first few weeks.

Had to travel on the road for my job last week. I got in Thursday night and was completely exhausted. I had horrible stomach problems during my trip. I didn't eat a lot, mostly just soup. I wasn't physically ready to go on this trip but my company needed me to go. So I went.

I am not due to see Dr Clements for another few weeks.

Meal Challenges and Vitamins

I had a good day today but still cannot eat very much at one sitting and end up eating all day. I eat a little bit and then go back an hour later and eat some more. It is a constant process. I am taking the chewable vitamins and am really getting tired of those. They are chewable and like horse pills. You have to eat 2 multi's and 3 calciums a day and it just seems to consume the day. I am also taking a protein supplement called Matrix and it is a chocolate shake. Between that and the vitamins, it just stinks. But, it will work out in time.

Dr. Clements mentioned to me that the liver stores 5 months of B12. I assume sometime later in the spring I will have to start taking those injections. I am not looking forward to it.

I do not know how much weight I have lost, since I do not have a scale. I assume its a lot but not sure.

2 Week Follow Up

I had my two week follow up last Friday, the gout is more or less clear. I weigh 248 lbs and have lost about 20 lbs.

My appointment was for 8am. I got there and didn't have to wait very long. Early appointments are the best for getting in and out. Anyways, I am ushered back and in comes the interns. They ask me a bunch of questions and in the middle of the discussion in walks Dr Clements. He basically asked me the same questions and gave me the same advice. This whole process is very scripted and intended to herd everyone in and out like cattle.

He tells me that I can resume a normal diet.

I asked him about B12 and he confirms that I may need to take shots forever. That stinks.

I leave there and am given labs to go draw. So, I go to the lab and have my blood drawn. Then I am out.

Well, I can eat a normal diet but I can't eat a normal diet. A bite or two of anything fills me up immediately. Plus, the process of eating is not a pleasant experience. I hope that it gets better.

My first normal meal was at KFC. A piece of chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans. I ate two or three bites of everything and was full to the point of being sick. It was not a good experience. I threw most of the food away.

Trip to the ER and a Week at Mom's House

The gout got so bad that I had to go back in to the ER. Of course, Dr Clements was no help at all and I really felt that he left me hanging. I went to the ER at UAB and waited for 8 hours in the waiting area. Finally, they sent me to the back and I was able to see a useless ER doc. It was not helpful at all. They wanted to give me a pain shot and send me home for the gout. This was a severe attack of gout and a pain shot and then going home was not going to suffice. Anyways, argued with the ER doc and then got the attending. He called the rheumatology on call and they told me that they would call me the next day. I got a shot of steroid and a pain shot, then was sent home. After 14 hours in the ER!!! A horrible experience in a horrible ER. UAB should be ashamed.

Anyways, the next day the rheumatology oncall doc never called. Fought with the Kirklin Clinic for several hours. Still in horrible pain, called Dr Clements and no help. Finally, that night Dr Chandler calls me and tells me that I can have the priviledge of seeing him the next day.

I go see Dr Chandler and he draws a fluid sample off of my knee and then injects my knee with steroids.

So, finally, after several days in pain I am finally treated.

I was very disappointed with the whole experience and left feeling like I was treated like a number with no regard for the extreme pain and discomfort. Not to mention that I am still very much in pain from the surgery.

I was still on a soft diet with soups/mashed potato/grits as my primary diet. It was a horrible time. I also make my 2 week appointment with Clements office and try to spend time recovering from the gout.

Due to my problems post surgery, I also decide to stay at Mom's because it is closer to UAB.

Here is a pic of the abdomen, after surgery.

3rd Day After Surgery and Going Home

On the second day, they fed me jello. On the 3rd day, I got scambled eggs. Keep in mind, I had an absolutely horrible taste in my mouth and then these eggs. It was horrible. I ate a few bites and then had this egg taste in my mouth. This taste lasted a few days.

The Dr. Clements came in that morning and told me I could go home. Gave me my discharge instructions, etc and I was released mid-afternoon.

I felt like crap. I was still hurting, couldn't eat, and was generally scattered from the anesthesia.

I got home and the gout attack re-surfaced but much, much worse. So, I am now hurting from the surgery and the gout is a 1o on the pain scale, I am sick at my stomach can't eat, etc. I was generally miserable and was seriously doubting my decision to do the surgery.

I could eat only soft foods, like mashed potatoes or grits. But, I really didn't have a desire to eat.

Dr Clements really disappointed me on the gout since I had warned him that I felt it would be a problem. I didn't feel that he ever really addressed it as an issue.

2nd Day After Surgery

Jan 1, Happy New Year!!!

It is a Thursday and I woke up on the second day with a visit from Dr Clements. I was still in a lot of pain, nausea, and feeling like I had the flu. I also had a pulling sensation on my left side when I moved. Anyways, he sent me for a Fluoro scan and a CT scan. The nurse came in and started yelling at me to get into the wheel chair and that I had to go to radiology. I don't respond well to people yelling at me. Needless to say, we didn't hit it off from that point forward. I ended up down in radiology for several hours without my morphine and in a lot of pain. It was absolutely miserable. Anyways, the test all came back ok with no leakage.

Got back to the room and started yelling for my morphine. Got it and slipped back off into magic land for several hours.

I do remember the fever was around 100 degrees for most of this day. A low grade fever makes for a generally miserable time anyways.

They have me on a liquid diet only. Of course, I have no interest in eating anything. They are all pushing me to get out of bed. And, the oxygen thing runs through water and bubbles constantly. At first I did not notice it, but it eventually started to really get on my nerves.

Also, the anesthesia just wasn't wearing off. I have a rough time with that anyways. So, I am generally scattered.

Above all, I want everyone to understand the absolute misery involved in day 2. Everything hurts and you will be very sick at your stomach.

Surgery and the First Day

I had to be at the hospital at 5am that morning. The intake process went really smooth and before long I was in a bed in the pre-surgery area. They assigned me a nurse and he proceeded to try and start an IV. It took him 5 times before he gave up and called another nurse. They finally called my wife back and the wait began for the trip to the OR.

I was nervous and still highly doubtful on whether I should even do this surgery.

Anyways, before long they called me and I was wheeled into an OR and moved to a small table. They gave me some drugs for anxiety. I was joking with the people in the room and then I was out.

Then, I woke up in the recovery room. Surgery was done. The moment that I came back to reality was the absolute most pain that I have ever felt. I thought that I was going to die. It was excruciating and overwhelming. They gave me morphine, it didn't really help. I was in the recovery room for over 9 hours and it still feels like 15 minutes. It was definitely beyond what I was prepared for.

The regrets then came in on my like torrents. I kept saying over and over "Oh my god, what have I done."

They finally moved me to a room and the hours began to creep by slowly. It was essentially measured by the number of minutes before the next morphine injection.

I have a lot to write on this first few days, so I will break it into several post.